March 26, 2002 - 2:31 am

god, i think i'm in love.... well, let me re-phrase that. i've been in this love for quite some time now. it seems as though sometimes i've loved her forever... and even when i managed to get over my crush, it came back, and boy did it come back. and now, i can honestly say i love her. but i'll never have her. we're friends, good friends, and she's straight, very straight. but, god, if i could only hear her say i love you erin, i want to be with you, i would die happy. i don't know how else to phrase it. i would make her sooo happy....happier than any man ever could. i would do anything, give anything she wanted. i would sacrifice anything and everything for her happiness. when i see her, i don't want to leave. when we talk, i don't want to stop. when we're on the phone, i don't want to hang up. even though i know i have to leave or go to bed because i'm so tired, i would stay if i could. and anybody reading this, don't assume it's you. i'm not telling anybody who this girl is, i can't risk the friendship. for all i know, she doesn't even read this. but, she very well could, i don't honestly know for sure, so don't assume it's you. i would never disrespect this girl by making a move on her, i would never EVER do anything like that. i wouldn't be able to bring myself to lose her trust or respect or anything she has for me. strong emotions on my part aside, our friendship is great. we have never fought abnd have always gotten along. i just don't know what to do about what i feel. i just want to be able to hold her and kiss her, but i can't. and i know i never will be able to.... guess i better start finding a way to un-love somebody who has never hurt you...

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