March 10, 2002 - 3:13 pm

oh my good sweet god....what a weekend... i had the fucking greatest fucking time in the world! and for those of you who don't "experiment" with drugs, meaning the one we had a "demonstration" on in merion last year, i feel very sorry for you.... if i could only feel that way every day, life would be so fucking beautiful. i got to hook up with 3 girls, and that was about it. but one of which, who will remain nameless, i like very much and and i'm very sweet on. hopefully, she feels the same way. she's still hung up on her ex and still in love with her, so i'm hoping she'll get over the ex and want to date me....oh i hope i hope. but, i don't want commitment right now, that hawsn't changed. i want everythign that comes with it, not just the physical part but all of the muchy sweet stuff too. and when i'm ready for a commitment, i'll say i want to go to the next level and have a commitment and only be with them. but, i know me. and if i have this with this girl, no commitment just everything else, i know i wouldn't date anybody else. i know that. besides, i wouldn't even have anybody else to get with even if i wanted to. ahh, the trials of life... well, i'll have to wait it out and see what happens... but knowing how shy i am, i don't think i could make a first move even if i wanted to without having something in me to let me relax. and even then, we would have to be alone, i'm not good with talking to a group or in a group. i like one-on-one better. so, lets check off what we need to make this work: time for her to get over her ex, something to get me to relax, privacy and of course the most important...for her to even like me. but, she knows that. i was so off my ass, i told her all kinds of things, and it didn't weird her out then, but i don't know of the next day she got weirded out by it or not. i don't know what to do....

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