December 31, 2001 - 2:33 am

hmmm, the last entry was a tad angry huh? god....i dunno.... i'm not aggravated at boy-toy anymore right now. i saw him online and just wanted to talk to him, i miss him...lol. he doesn't seem mad at me for not talking to him for 2 days either, but he didn't call me either so i guess neither of us can be mad at eachother. but....i get to see him tomorrow and i also get to see lu as well.....i miss her. hmmm, i dunno about this whole being bitter about love deal, i know i'm scared to death of it right now, but i dunno how long i will be scared. i'll be dead honest, i'm deathly afraid of faling in love again, look at what has happened to me already.... why do you think there was such a long gap between the entry of me not being so depressed and me breaking up with denese finally over and done with? i was miserable for a while, a long while. i'm still getting over it now.....maybe if i dont' talk to her for a while again i won't be hurting like i am right now.....i dunno...... have to see how the new year goes and what resolutions i make to myself. i dunno how good i'll be able to keep them, i never do keep t hem actually...lol but i think that's how most people behave about their new years resolutions....they try and it just doesn't work for them i guess.

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