November 01, 2001 - 12:22 pm

whew..... things are actually looking up.... amazing how much things can change in a night huh? i talked...and boy did i....to jen last night and then denese this morning. i got so much off my chest and out of my head...feels like there is a light at the end of the darkness now.... i feel so much lighter now...absolutly amazing. i am starting to feel like me again..... the real me is in there somewhere and i thought i almost lost her....but i think i might have found her....she was just afraid to come out in case she couldn't handle life. but i see that i can now...i can handle what life tosses at me. i can handle it because what life tosses at me is from my own choices and my own decisions. i can fix myself now....i just needed somebody to let me unload it all so i could start to be myself. i was laughing and smiling and i haven't in a while without somebody helping me to do it. i'm gonna be alright..... i'm gonna be okay..... i think i might go out this weekend....have some fun and enjoy myself for a change....

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