october 3, 2001 - 1:51 a.m.

i've decided what i'm going to do about this whole school thing. i don't think i'll be back for mext semester. i'm going to work for my mom, save money like mad, move to nashville and start over there. i know i know, a high school degree doesn't go that far anymore, but that's why i'm working here and then moving there. once i move there and save up enough once there, i'm goingback to school. before you get all "but that's stupid, you just dropped out you moron!! now you're going back?! what the fuck?!?!", let me explain. i'm going to go to a technical school. i'll go to itt tech, get a degree in 9 months and there's the same degree i would get with 4+ years of college and co-op shit. i can't take the stress school causes me anymore.....not working here dude..... in theory, if i work and save like crazy, i could have plenty and i mean plenty by mid-march or april to go and move.

please, oh god please let this work. for once in my life, let this work. you know how bad things are health wise and sanity wise for me here. we talked about this, repeatedly. just, please oh please help me.....

and for anybody out there who reads this, pray for me. and if you don't pray, just support me. i don't even have to know that you do, just give me the support you and i both know i'm going to need.

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