March 12, 01 - 8:01 pm

I'm sitting in my room, on my computer, waiting. "for what?"you ask "my love," i reply. i sit here, alone, listening to "happy music" trying to be happy. it doesn't work. i read old entries of happiness and they help, but as soon as i read the last line, i am back where i started. "What's wrong?" you ask me. I have no reply. there is but one reason for depression, the lack of happiness. my happiness is when i can talk to my love, but i can't so there is no happiness. "Get real," you say. I say to you that I am for real. it has been but a short time, but it so real and so right," i say.

who am i talking to? the voices in my head. they try to tell my heart to go away and calm down. "Let us do your thinking and bidding," they order. my heart reply's, "No. Thinking with your head is all well and good for life, but in love, it is always the wrong commander." my mind does not like this answer. "Fine then oh dear heart. I will go and not offer anymore help in all matters of love. For love is foolish and unimportant. I will go and leave to your own demise."

and whoever said the mind is such a terrible thing to waste? they obviously were never in love as i am now.

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