March 6, 01 - 11:36 pm

i must be going crazy. i can't get her out of my head, and i'm loving every second of it. like the song crazy for this girl goes:

would you look at her as she looks at me

she's got me thinkin about her constantly

but she don't know how I feel

and as she carries on without a doubt

I wonder if she's figured out

I'm crazy for this girl

we talked this afternon when i got home from school, as usual. :) florida was brought up, and i heard a familiar groan on the reciever. she doesn't want me to go, for one reason. my ex is about 2 hours away from disney world. she's jealous, and i find it so cute, that we're spending a day together there. she gets all groany and i think it's adorable. but anyway, she's more so mad about when i go for senior week. it's 10 days with no adults, i can see where she's coming from. i originally planned to spend a couple days with my ex while i was there for senior week, but i'm changing my mind.

this whole ex thing baffles me. i've decided that, limited to a very few select, you shouldn't remain friends with your ex's, especially if they are madly in love with you. i still can't figure out what exactly is seen as so lovable that this girl is still on my left ass. yea, i know from what i've been told i'm sweet and romantic and nobody else is like me, but come on. there is no way in hell this is possible. i can understand about her still being hung up on my ending the relationship, but it's been over since i got back from kairos. that was what, about 3 months ago. yea she backed off and is letting me breathe, but today, she kinda started it again. how much she loves me, and is in love with me, and al that stupid shit. i mean, come on, she's 15 and i'm going to be 18. god, i sound like a fucking pedafile right now.

then there's the whole male thing going on. right now, i only truely trust 1 male, and, sadly for lj, it's not lj whom i trust. and if for some reason he still manages to get onto my diary, now that it's locked, serves him right. i locked it so he couldn't get on here and bother me about everything i think anymore. i don't even know what to think anymore.

i want to go somewhere, anywhere, where i can think and not have to worry about anything. where is the summer when you need it??? where is the one who you know can make it better when you really need them? oh, i know, a 9 hour drive away......

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